You Have To Break To Grow

It Will be Okay

Life is a crazy and wonderful thing. Filled with not only ups and downs but also an unlimited amount of questions that we constantly feel like we need the answer to in order to advance ourselves to the next level. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Trying to figure out what my next move is, for financial purposes as well as my own happiness and at first I thought this process was going to be very hard. However, once I started looking more in depth as to what areas of my life needed changing and rearranging, I began to laugh at myself because the more I dove in, the easier it seemed to get. The more I tackled the “harder” things that are going on in my life, the more I began to appreciate them and looked at them as a challenge that I am soon to overcome.

Like I said, life is crazy, but the things you have to ask yourself is what are the things in your life that keeps you going? No, I don’t mean going to the job that you hate so that you have money to afford the necessities, I mean really what makes YOU happy? Deep inside, what motivates you to become better, what really drives your passions? What do you look forward to doing every morning? For some of you, at this moment you don’t have an answer to this… this is actually okay because knowing this means you can search for these small blessings to make your life happier overall. For those of you who have that thing that excites you and motivates you do you notice a difference in your overall demeanor in comparison to those around you?

Lately when I go out, I am very in touch with people’s emotions. I don’t know what clicked all of the sudden, but everyone now seems as an open book to me. I can see the pain and misery in people’s eyes and body language while walking through the grocery stores and I can feel the disappointment that they have within themselves. I too recently have had this disappointment in myself. I noticed a change in my behavior, my positivity was slowly changing into negativity and I began to feel bad about who I was and the direction in which my life was going. Once I realized this, I knew things had to change… this wasn’t who I was, nor was it who I wanted to be.

The first thing I realized is that you have to be able to come to terms with your ego and pride and admit that something is going on. You have to be true to yourself and your overall feelings. After admitting this, I began to reach out to those close to me and explained a little of how I was feeling and listened to their advice as to how to overcome it. I began to notice that everyone I would talk to had gone through this ‘phase’ before and that it is a normal thing to go through as you get older, especially transitioning from a young adult to a full blown adult.

I am a person who likes to have a general plan so that I have a basic idea as to where my life is heading, however, lately it’s getting to be to much of a priority and when things don’t work out I feel defeated. But I recently met with an old friend and she said something that has been stuck in my head, although I’ve heard the saying before, at this moment it was exactly what I needed to hear. “Everyone always wants everything in perfect order and put together before moving on to the next thing, but nothing will ever be in perfect order, it’s something that they tell themselves so that they can prolong the actual action.” WOW! I mean take a second and try to relate that to your everyday life or the lives of those around you and you can see that it really is the truth!

We all dream of this perfect reality and strive for that to be our life, but in reality, I think the best part of life is the spontaneous curve balls that it throws at you; the hardships that it forces you to take, and that makes you realize what it is that you really want from it. Whether it’s a relationship or a career, through these hard times is when you truly see the importance these have on your life. You begin to see the true value that these things have and the wondrous possibilities that can come from them. Keep striving for that perfect life that you have always wanted, because you really do deserve it! Just keep in mind that when it doesn’t go the way you planned, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. It’s just a test to see how strong you really are and to make you grow and continue to become the best version of yourself possible.

Life is hard, life is crazy and sometimes, yes, life can be a little sucky, but how you handle it and rise above it defines who you are as a person. For those of you who may be going through a similar struggle right now, YOU GOT THIS! Everything will be okay and everything will work out as it should. Trust that timing is everything and the hard times won’t last forever. Keep your positive energy flowing and a smile on your face and know that you are unstoppable! We can get through this together and conquer the world as we know it!

“Always remember that growing always feels like breaking at first”


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3 thoughts on “You Have To Break To Grow

  1. I have a friend who is also very introspective and insightful. After 30+ years of marriage, she found out her husband had not been faithful. Here’s her perspective this year, five years post-affair (with a mutual friend of ours, can you be more ratchet), posted with her permission:

    Everyone’s asleep, including the trailer full of loud drunks in the campsite next door (praying they leave today) and I’m laying here thanking God for my blessings. Today would have been my 35th anniversary and timehop is full of past years trips and anniversary messages…. no, things haven’t gone as i thought they would, but it’s ok. We had over 30 years, raised 3 awesome kids, suffered through some bumps and made a ton of great memories…and I’m thankful for that time. But I’m also thankful for this time. I’ve been able to figure out just who I am and just how strong I am. I’ve been given the chance to live independently and make my own choices and do what i want. I’ve discovered so much about myself over these past 3.5 years—things i didn’t know because i had been married my entire adult life. So today, I’m not crying because my fairy tale ended, I’m celebrating because a new story is being created…and I’m the author! So, here’s to new memories being made 🎈🎈🎊🎉

    So, Shorty, you’re quite in-tune with yourself at such a young age and I admire that – and I admire my friend (who is mine and your mom’s age) in the same fashion.

    Perhaps we can all learn from each other’s struggles, challenges and victories, eh? If this was too long, feel free to delete. Otherwise, keep on sharing, because we are listening!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Although the ending of her marriage is sad, I’m proud of her for looking to the positive side of things and working on building herself back up into the amazing woman she knows she is meant to become! Thank you so much for sharing this inspirational story with me! It definitely shows that you’re NEVER too old to grow and that it’s something we must constantly do throughout our lives!

      Moving over seas at a young age as definitely forced me to mature a little quicker than most, and to open my eyes to how the world around me really is. But also, helped me find who I am and in an even deeper sense! I am forever grateful for this!

      And YES! As a society we tend to spend too much time comparing ourselves to one another instead of helping/learning from each other. We’ve become in personable and honestly some down right mean! I’m glad that you see the bigger picture as well! And I will continue to share my life awakening moments with all of you!


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