Relationships of all kinds are vital to our lives. More specific, romantic relationships are the key way in which we enhance our lives and add enjoyment to our world. While there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, there is such thing as a healthy relationship and one that you will continue to grow as a person. While most of you may be on the fence as to what exactly defines a healthy relationship, I have provided some key signs that you are indeed in a healthy relationship. For those who might have questions still… I have provided some indicators that should allow some clarity for your thinking.
Trust & Honesty
Communication in a relationship is always the key. You have to be willing to talk to each other about any and everything to make sure you both are on the same page. The communication between the two of you is always honest and truthful. You never feel the need to second-guess or doubt what your partner says to you because you have full trust in them. You have a mutual understanding for each other and therefore you will always give them the benefit of the doubt. Honesty and trust is something that should be earned and not just given.
You are together as a couple, but each one of you is responsible for your own doings. By having accountability, you are able to own up and admit when you were wrong or when you made a mistake. Although at times this may be more challenging, you are taking responsibilities for your behavior, attitude and actions. By doing this, you are not only building trust with your partner even more, but you are staying true to yourself along with your own values.
This point is very vital to a healthy relationship. If you are in a healthy relationship, you will support one another 110% no matter what. You will stand by each other in every choice that will be made, and you will offer encouragement in both good times and bad. You are your partners’ number one fan and you back them up on everything. You will ALWAYS be there to listen to your partner and you will be understanding as well. Even if you don’t full heartedly agree, it’s their decision and you respect that and support them anyway.
Relationships are a two way street. You have to be willing to be flexible, especially in the beginning. You both must fully be aware that you both came from separate worlds and are now trying to combine those two worlds into one. Both of you have to be willing to compromise and to make decisions together. If a conflict were to arise, you would end up finding a win-win resolution. Neither one of you expects anything from the other and if you were to want/need anything, you would simply ask. Cooperation is key in making any relationship work. It is a hard thing to master, but one you do, you will see it is easier than it may seem.
This is, to me, the most important point that I am sharing with you guys. In a healthy relationship, safety is never a fearful issue. Intimidation and manipulation are never used in order to control the other person. You have our own personal space and your partner is respectful of that at all times. You are never scared or worried about either person expressing their feelings because you are able to do so in a non-violent manner, in every situation. Safety in a relationship is not only a physical matter, but an emotional one as well. Abuse of any kind, whether verbal or physical is not okay. Your partner would never do anything to harm you and would never allow anything else to harm you either. They put themselves before you in harms way.
These five signs are five of many, but to me, are the most critical in having a healthy relationship. If these five don’t help you enough to answer if you are in a healthy relationship or not, here are some signs that you may actually be in a toxic one.
They may use fearful looks, actions, or behavior and they don’t have a problem destroying anything that belongs to either of you. They also manipulate you in order to gain something for themselves.
Your partner is very controlling of everything that you do. They seem to be very critical of where you go, and with whom you are with at all times. In order for them to be happy you have to stay either with them, or at home. They are not very fond of family visits or allowing time for you to be with your friends. Basically, you are isolated from the world and they are the only one allowed in.
Mess with your emotions
If this is a problem in your relationship, your partner will always try to tear you down instead of build you up. Always make you feel less about yourself than you really should. They will humiliate you whenever possible and will not feel bad in doing so. They will violate your trust continuously and will sometimes even neglect you.
Mess with your head
If you have to play any type of ‘game’ in a relationship that should already be an indicator that it is not the relationship that you should be in. But if your partner does nothing but play games with you and messes with your mind, then something needs to change. Maybe they try to again humiliate you but use it is blackmail against you. These are things that should be avoided at all costs.
Walking on eggshells
You feel the need to walk on eggshells with your partner in order to not upset them and to not cause any dispute between the two of you. You tend to bottle up the little things that bother you because you don’t want them to look at you any differently for asking and most importantly, you don’t want them to think you don’t trust them.
As I hope that all of you are involved in healthy relationships, I am aware that unhealthy ones do happen. But you are able to make the choice for yourself which one you will allow yourself to be in.