Society has graced us with imagery of what “beautiful people” look like. And although some of the standards have changed over the years, there are some that, as ridiculous as they may seem, are still apart of everyday human interaction. Because we have been provided with the basics of looks and fashion etc., there is a never-ending series of labeling that happens subconsciously from every single one of us. Many of you may say at this point, “I don’t label anyone!” but lets take a deeper look and you will realize you do it way more than you think.
As a way of showing manners, one usually knows never to call an overweight person fat, or to suggest to them that maybe they should go to the gym and lose a couple pounds, but yet somehow it is acceptable to tell skinny people that they need to gain weight, or my favorite line “eat a cheeseburger”, because they look like a skeleton. Weight for women in general is a very touchy subject and it is one that, to a point, all women struggle with interiorly at some point in their lives, so why continue to egg it on? Why continue to think and say these things? Women are already constantly comparing themselves to other women, it is a natural part of our brains due to human reproduction, but what we don’t realize is that we take things way to far and way to in depth. Who cares what you weigh? All that matters is that YOU are comfortable in your own skin not society. YOU are the one who has the daily pep talk in the mirror expressing to yourself what you would like to see as a change for yourself, not the people surrounding you. Your idea of perfect is totally different than someone else’s and that is normal and expected. You have no idea the struggles that women of various weight struggle with daily, so who are you to judge them for that? So you are not as skinny as the models in the magazine, neither are the actual models, thanks to photo shopping. Just because society paints this picture for us doesn’t mean we have to follow it in order to fit in. We are individuals; it’s time that we embrace it!
Now, for my deep thought provoking question of the day: What really is ‘beauty’? or more simply, What makes someone beautiful? If we didn’t have these guides from the media showcasing what ‘true beauty’ looks like, how would we know? We have dating apps that all you are given is a picture and maybe a 2-sentence bio and you have to decide in that moment whether to swipe right or left, solely based on appearance. You don’t know what type of connection you could have had with the man you just swiped left too, but because he didn’t meet your idea of beauty, you didn’t care. So again, what really is beauty? Along with the superficial beauty, or beauty of appearance, there is beauty of the mind. Though mostly this gets over looked today and is seen as ‘to cheesy’ or ‘to old school’ but why? Your mind is the thing that controls you, does every action for you, produces the thoughts and ideas that you have and inevitably IS YOU! We get so caught up the superficial world around us and stay in relationships with the wrong people because were more focused on how we look to others than the general well being of ourselves. I cannot begin to tell you the number of women I have seen that will stay in a relationship because their boyfriend, although he treats her like trash, is beautiful and it makes her look good. Then when things finally do go bad, the woman will say, “I’m tired of these types of men”, but yet the cycle will continue over and over again.
If the media were to wipe the slate clean, to not showcase certain people with the word ‘beautiful’ or ‘hot’ or ‘stunning’, how different would your life be? How would you really dress, act, talk, walk even? If you walk down the street and you see an overweight, or underweight person, how hard will it be to stop the voice in your head from making some kind of comment? The constant labeling that goes on within our minds is normal, but the negativity isn’t and that’s what is contributing in brining down the world, as we know it. You are not superior to anyone else; you do not have the right to tear others down in order to boost your own self-confidence. Focus on you and your life, don’t worry about what other people are doing with theirs, they don’t effect you and they don’t try to tear you down. So next time you begin to think of a negative comment about someone, think to yourself, if someone said this to me, how would I react?
Society as a whole will never be pleased with everyone, but you can begin to make that difference not only within yourself, but you can reflect onto those around you.