No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves otherwise, everyone passes judgment on others at some point or another. We seem to never be satisfied with not only ourselves, but the people around us as well…
“She’s too fat”, “She needs a cheeseburger!”, “She wears wayyyyy to much make up”, “If she just wore a little bit of makeup, she could look a lot prettier”, “He is way to short for me”, “If he would just work out a little bit he would look a lot better!”, and the list goes on and on. What we fail to realize is that all of these judgments we are making are actually poisoning our lives, and these thoughts and words that we direct toward other people, actually tend to apply to ourselves.
As human beings we have a natural instinct for survival. We are all born with mentality but most people are not fully capable of using it and controlling it in these situations. When we feel threatened, we naturally get defensive and judgmental in order to protect our feelings and ourselves. When we don’t understand the reasoning behind someone else’s behavior, we’re quick to judge and to put our two cents in. But the biggest thing that many of us seem to forget is that everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect and life is all about figuring things out as you go. Imagine the feeling that you have when it is obvious that someone is judging you. Is this a nice feeling? Would you act differently if you knew that you would not be judged for it?
Along with judging, there is a connection with self-consciousness. We tend to judge others because deep down we’re jealous and want the same for ourselves, or maybe without fully realizing it, you connect with this person on this level because you have similar struggles within the same area whether its weight gain, self appearance etc. But even in knowing this, it is a lot easier to judge and tear down someone else, rather than out in the effort to get yourself to that next level, or to admit that you too are struggling with the same problems. Most people are blind to the fact that judging goes a lot deeper than our psyche than we think. By judging others, we are really implying conclusions about ourselves.
Thanks to a suggestion by a follower of theclarityofmind.com I am here to answer any questions you may have as well as clarify your mind with my knowledge on this matter. Without becoming aware of why and how we judge, we will continue to repeat these mistakes over and over again. Below are some things to remember when you find yourself judging others. These points will help you decrease judgment on others and allow you to focus more on yourself, and finding and keeping the happiness within you.
Although natural, try to catch yourself before speaking negatively. You can’t take it back once you’ve said it. Allow your self to pause and take a second to think of the situation from their standpoint. If you still find the urge to say something, try turning it into a positive or neutral thought instead. Like I said before, we don’t know the reasons for someone else’s behavior, and we are unsure of why they behave like this, but what we do have control of is how we can help and make a difference for them. Don’t tear them down, help bring them up and keep the positivity flowing.
If someone is constantly disagreeing with you and seems to always make your life more difficult, just remember that it is not always about you, but rather the pain and the struggle that the other person may be having. Never underestimate the pain that a person may be going through, everyone struggles at one point or another, some of us are just better at hiding it than others.
Look In The Mirror
We tend to sometimes judge others for things that we have done, or things that we still do. Maybe you have done something before and it was a bit of a struggle for you, you got through it and you learned from it, but you had to experience it in order to do so. Just because someone else hasn’t had the chance to learn from this same mistake, doesn’t give you the right to judge him or her for it. Always rethink your behavior and your actions before passing judgment… you’ve probably been in the same place before and maybe it wasn’t all that long ago.
Keep Doors Open
Without relationships with others, there are no gateways to grow and go further in life. By not judging and accepting others for who they are, you allow yourself to keep doors open rather than closing it due to a lapse in judgment. In return, you are more pleasant to be a round and people find it easier and more comfortable to be around you. By keeping doors open and not judging, you are allowing yourself an unlimited amount of opportunities to be unveiled for you, and you will continue to grow and prosper into the best version of yourself possible.
Feel Good About You
Once you feel good about yourself, and allow yourself to stop judging you as well as others, you will begin to stop caring so much about how the world may perceive or judge you. In this moment you become completely free. Free of stress, free of trying to measure up to others standards, and free of being someone you are not. When you feel good about yourself, you are able to see through the snide remarks of others and can identify that it is really because of troubles within themselves, not with anything you do. You can see more clearly that people are talking because they are jealous of your happiness and freedom and are unaware of how to achieve that for themselves. Now that you are finally free, help others find their freedom. There is already too much hate in this world for no reason, we need to share all the happiness that we can.
The happiest people I know are always evaluating and improving themselves. The unhappy people are usually judging and evaluating others. Which person are you?